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a quiet portrait

“I lived in solitude in the country and noticed how the monotony of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind” ~Albert Einstein

My photographs are an honest expression of my life-whether I like it or not. My life is active, busy and carefree yet for some reason I carry a heavy heart when it comes to my personal work. Frustration and judgement are constantly on my mind. I love photographing our life but when it comes to the vision of photographs I want to be making they remain stuck in my head and don’t seem to manifest as I’d like them to.

When I photograph my own family it’s a challenge. They truly do not want to be photographed-at least not when I am in the mood. I generally have to give in to their art direction and wardrobe suggestions. So, I don’t see any of the work that I create with them as my true vision as an artist-I guess it is a sort of collaboration, however!! I am usually running around trying to get them to do this or do that as an idea I have in my mind to no avail for manifesting my idea. So I just let it go and produce the photographs of who my kids are and what they like to do.

And I love them for it all the more.

The other day, however, I noticed the light in our front entry way. There was a stream of light late in the day coming from the reflection of the sun off a large glass wall at a house on the street above us. The light only happens like this at a certain time of the year at a particular time of day.

So, I was actually chasing Maliea with my camera into this light. She refused to stay there (like usual) and even wanted me to go back inside and close the door while she stayed out and played “ring the doorbell.” There was a moment where she was still and quiet and almost didn’t notice me.

I took a deep breath and took this photograph of her.

Someday, when I can get back to a quiet life I expect my creative mind will come back. I miss photographing for me, for my ideas and no one else’s; for my mind and not for my surroundings. I miss trying to say something besides “here is a photograph of my kids doing x and y and I love them.”